OK I AM APOLOGIZING AND ASKING THAT WE JUST LEAVE EACHOTHER ALONE.
IF THAT WON'T WORK , LET'S TRY USING THIS AS A MEANS OF LESS COMMUNICATION.. MAYBE FOR INSIGHT ON HOW I WAS AS A KID..

YOU HONESTLY DON'T WANT ME TO BE HAPPY...I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT
 BUT I HONESTLY WANT YOU AND KK TO BE

THANX DAVE

I'M JUST TRYING TO STAY OUTTA YOUR WAY

HERE'S A THOUGHT THOUGH.......




I'M NOT LOOKING FOR GRIEF HARDSHIP OR HOSTILITY, I'M NOT TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT OR STIR ANYTHING UP
 I DIDN'T WRITE YOU TO PISS YOU OFF, AGGRAVATE OR ANYTHING ELSE ...
LET ME BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR ...

I SHOULDA LEFT WELL ENOUGH ALONE. 

IT WAS MEANT TO BE MORE OF ONE THOSE GLANCES 2 PEOPLE SHARE PASSING EACHOTHER IN AN ELEVATOR

BUT..

FOR ADAM, DON'T UNDERESTIMATE HIM.. IT'S NOT AUTISM..JUST DIRECT LOGIC
LABELING HIM AND MAINTAINING THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT WITH  A LABEL IN PLACE IS JUST A BAD IDEA
..I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND FOR AWHILE, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN FOR HIM

AT MY AGE I WAS WAY AHEAD OF EVERYONE AND BORED..
COLLEGE LEVEL ENGLISH READING AND COMPREHENSION, ALGEBRA AND FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICS UNDERSTANDING IN 3RD GRAD
ASK MY MOMMY, I'M HER APPLE LOL

ANYWAY , HERE'S A THOUGHT FOR YA THAT IS A TRAIT THAT I HOPE HE'S GOT
PHOTOGRAPHIC AND TACTILE-KINETIC MEMORY.


PUSHING SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING MIGHT BE INFURIATING,
BUT DON'T LET IT FOOL YOU,
YOU ARE A GOOD MOM
THATS WHY I'VE DONE WHAT YOU ASKED AND STAYED AWAY

p.s instead of trying larger doses of whatever.. try to supress the anxiety in him of it all in small steady doses,
i had a very strong social anxiety, til i figured it out.. you know what happened next
buspar & ritalin 10 AND 10

ANYWHO I GOTTA GET TO WORK,

You do not know or understand Adam, please do not try to. It is Autism. And you opened this gateway. You always do. If she is a part of you, then she is involved. You have lied to others in the past about Adam and matter of factly stated that he was not yours...until I forced you to face the truth. So at what point did I not think you did the same in this instance. KK And I are happy, as you and C are. And we will be as you will be. However you still have a responsibily to a child. You cannot just walk away from that as you have in the past. You say I asked you to stay away - yes because you kept pursuing me - it was not about Adam. You walked away when I finally said no once again, and I was with KK. No more posting on blogs, but be honest. Lies tend to nip you in the bud.

YEAH THEY DO..
YES I WAS PURSUING YOU
YES I WANTED A RELATIOPNSHIP WITH ADAM
YES I WANTED A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.
I MY MIND IT WAS AT THE TIME WHAT I FIGURED WOULD BE BEST FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, HIM A DAD AND YOU SOMEONE WHO CARED.. RIGHT NOW I'M VERY HAPPY THAT HE HAS KEVIN AS A DAD. I HOPE HE'S HE HOLDING THAT TEMPER OF HIS,
I KNOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER LET SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN TO HIM AS LONG AS YOU ARE ABLE.
I'LL TRY AND TAKE SOME SMALLER STEPS TOWARDS DOIN MORE, AND I'LL ASK ONLY THINKS THAT ARE CONVENIENT FOR YOU AND ADAM AND KK.. WHEN YOU'RE READY .. U TELL ME ..
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM SOMETIME, BUT ENOUGH HE SAID SHE SAID..ONLY U CAN GIVE THE IDEA THE START IT NEEDS AND YOU GET TO BE IT'S PROPRIATOR.. BUT I'LL HAVE NOTHING HELD OVER ME OR ANY GUILT TRIP, SO PLEASE CONSIDER WHAT YOU'RE ASKING

Kk had NEVER had a temper with Adam in over a year and a half. Not once. C will stay out - after nasty comments from her mind you - as will KK. Got it. - GOOD.
If you are out to TOTALLY confuse a simple 7 yr old, well that I will not let happen. Buck up and be the dad. That is Adulthood - Parenthood - and Resposibility. He does not have a Dad - KK is just that - KK. There is no replacement. And considering your temper - and what you did to me in the past - and what you did to Adam at last and final visit - I would not start accusing.

PLEASE, GO TALK TO SOMEONE AND LET GO OF SOME OF THE HOSTILITY, IT'S NOT GOOD FOR ANYONE..EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID HAS SO MUCH ANGER IN IT.. I'M TRYING TO BE PEACEFUL ABOUT THIS AND MEET SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE..
I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT KK DOESN'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.. AS FAR AS MY BEHAVIOR, CONSIDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT HAPPENED AND THE TREACHERY THAT OCCURRED TO ME...I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD REIGN ON MINE..
MEDS DO THAT BUT THE FUNNY THING IS... I DIDN'T REALLY NEED THEM FOR MY TEMPER, JUST MY FOCUS,, ASK ANYONE

ME TRYING TO CONFUSE A SEVEN YR OLD, WHAT ....HE'S FAR FROM SIMPLE ANYWAY...

I'VE TAKEN COMFORT THAT KK IS A GOOD ROLE MODEL AND TRUSTED IN YOUR JUDGEMENT IN RE TO HIM AND HAVEN'T LOOKED BACK ON THAT .. YOU TOLD ME TO TRUST YOU AND LISTEN TO AND I DID AND I'M SAYING IT NOW.. YOU WERE RIGHT ..
SO NOW THAT I'VE EXPLAINED TO EVERYONE WATCHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN .. AND TO THOSE THAT ACTUALLY KNOW ME FOR THE PERSON I AM ..
WHATS IT GONNA TAKE FOR YOU TO REALLY STOP HOLDING SHIT THAT HAPPENED SEVEN YRS AGO OVER MY HEAD.. I WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON AND SO WERE YOU .. YES ADAM IS IN THE PICTURE, THERES NO CHANGING THAT.. SO ARE YOU GOING TO LET ANGER AND HOSTILITY DRIVE A WEDGE SO FAR BETWEEN US THAT I WON'T WANT TO APPROACH AND DO AS YOU ASK OR IS THERE GOING TO BE A WAY TO FIGURE IT OUT WITHOUT IT GETTING DIRTY AND WORKED UP ..

I'M TRYING HERE AND YEAH SHIT HAPPENED BUT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU, THAT I DON'T WANT THE ANGER..I GOT ENOUGH STRESS.. IT JUST WON'T HAPPEN THAT WAY AND IN THE END WHATEVER ANGER IS THERE WILL EAT AT YOU ..

I'VE MADE PEACE WITH ALL THIS .. I DID A VERY LONG TIME AGO.. I HAVE BEEN APOLOGIZING TO YOU FOR MY ACTIONS FOR SO VERY LONG, EVERY TIME I HEAR YOU OR TALK TO YOU AND STILL YOU BAD MOUTH ME OPENLY AS IF I AM STILL THAT PERSON..

KNOCK IT OFF AND LET IT GO ..YOU WANT THINGS TO CHANGE .. COOL BY ME ..I'D LIKE IT.. I CAN TRY AND DO THAT...

CAN YOU CHANGE? NOT SOMETHING HALF ASS .. I'M REALISTIC .. I KNOW IT WON'

Proof that was not there a year and a half ago (or so). you wanted to ride my coat tail and i will not/would allow that. you were no different when i saw you. and on a bad day - you proved that you could not handle Adam. So what has changed? you were not on meds then, just as you are not now. and a year and a half is not that much time. Anger - yes - you have had your cake and ate it to. Not any more. That is not fair to Adam. And it is not fair that I have to say no to things he should have, per say Guitar lessons (wanted ever so badly for 2 years, but just now old enough to handle them cannot afford them), Kumon Math - he excels in math and science. Kumon would help - but way too costly. Then you have the mere doctor visits (150 every 4 weeks) not to mention meds every month (125). That is the anger that exist. And if you look to any single mom that has zero support from the dad - they have the same resentment and same questions I pose - Why should he get away scott free with nothing? Why???? Adam is not a hate filled - nor will ever be hate filled. He knows nothing - and it will stay that way until asked. And even then - I will only give info. So don't EVER accuse me of that - you know I am far better than that on ANY given day. The anger comes from attacks invoked by your fear that lays deep beneth you. That is what you have done best with me - attack. And I will not let Adam be subjected to that. Nor will I let him be subjected to any unstableness. The world is unstable enough. My job it to protect, love and care for him, and that is what I do. If I didn;t he would not have made the progress he has in a year and half. Completly different little boy full of love, kisses, hugs and cuddles. And he is and will be on meds. So do not tell me otherwise, when you do not know him. Do not tell me how it is with him, you have some but very little insite to him. You do not even know him. There has never been a time that I have know you to be stable. I do not know now...all

Answer this:
Why should you be let into his life again.
Why should I allow this to happen
Why is it you deserve to be allowed this privledge, and graced with his presence?
What have you done over the past years to earn this right?
You can just email it to me if you want.

Sounds like theres more to his side.. stop with the half truthes... you're not so high and mighty. or right about everything..

oh pity me, you don't know what it's like.. blah blah blah...

give a lil and be honest.. life for adam wasn't so great if dad here hasn't seen him very much in so long... so what kinda crap happened to him up in the meantime.

anger problems , emotional problems , being labeled with this and that and then the truth of real issues and ohhh damn it's dad's fault .. bullshit

if he wasn't around how could he have been an influence to your son's problems
i've been listen to doctors this and doctors that for over a year now ..
quit the pushing buttons and slamming doors on people and trash talking about .. ohh he's this and he's that.. tell the whole truth..

we'll see ..
i see you every day, miss d

enough is enough

Ok, UnknowN...why you got to use the name I used. I would never say that kind of Crap about Jen. John is a DEADBEAT DAD AND THAT IS THAT!

that's funny... both unknowns come from wash u ..but let me help...two different terminals... hahaha
as far as namecalling ..tsk tsk , not here .. it's a big box and i know y'all can bash me somewhere else and probably are.. oh well think what you want but please this is a private discussion.. it maybe public forum , but i have the right to remove
i'm sure you're watching unknown for your post .... it'll be gone shortly..

was not me. but thanks for the wash u 2 teminal....

I i think it's time i reinterate.... leave candy out of it..
that along the way implies
leave her out of it.
that should also tell you that whilst you have knowledge of action prior,
rather intent or disdain, don't encourage, but discourage, other parties might seek to participate ( at 3am or so) in acts that might affect her either.
i't just not cricket, im straight up.

i've been helpful,
i've been nice and i want to think that we can be honest and straight up.
we know.


do unto others

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