wow so much has happened this week,
i have been hauling ass , balls out and it's been back to the kblkraqhed side of my ego. this particular individual meets a few requirements .
1) needs very little sleep and still works. normal schedule is wake at six, avoid as many possible til getting to work , bullshit with people at work get lots of jobs, do lots of jobs and then be last man out of the field and then come home... come payday, this is the formula that makes thos 2k, 3k, 4,k paychecks every 2 weeks.
this also make j get in hella shape so i end up loosin weight and finding new clothes and being able to afford them .
2. tolerates less and less bullshit.. this is near a side effect, but is still a good characteristic. it means everybody around gets the hard truth... all the time.. so all this time they say don't sugar coat it and oh i understand what you mean by the truth will either hurt you or heal you but at least it's the truth... i hope you were also paying attention to the rest of that quote.. honesty before sympathy..
there are exceptions to the ferocity to which i will give this. candy and my mom and my sisters...
yes these are women, because they know how I feel once a months
i pray every minute that when i'm working that i don't snap off or push anyone away while at work and also pray that they understand that this is just how i get when i work,, and i need to stay in tyhis mode to get shit done and not get hurt or fucked.
so far until you're in it , you just wont understand why i get into john/kblkraqhed mode and have trouble turning it off.. don't take it personally.
i've been making myself silent more lately just trying to be humble and learn. theres really great people around and i just don't know if i want to be this person again.. for right now i understand that i have to get in this mode to get the money to go to school the right way and be able to affor the things i need out there.
i don't want to lose the woman i love by becoming this person and i hope she stays by me til we get to kc and get things going there .. i want to make it so easy for you to transitiionsz that i'm going to basically sacrifice myself and my body for a month to be able to take so much stress off of you.
i love you,,,,,,, be patient , you know the person that comes out is only a small piece of me and that this has to be done . i'm not neglecting you or trying to work for other reasons. i just want to be happy and relax and that is going to happen when i get out there with you.
i am so excited about being with this woman. she is so smart and we love so much of the same things ....the futon couch cover.. that has got me so excited,,, she has got me so excited that i hate to go off to work,, but it's only for a couple hours.. i hope
it's 648 no.. my day is starting to stack up in my head with all the shit i need to do outside of work, i've watched her sleep this morning and have been kicking myself that i have to go , but to get there this is what i have to do .. i love you c, even when i hear you snore from the living room ... good morning
7 user comments.